For those of you that have not read the Vogue Wedding blog post that suggests soon to be wed couples forego some of the things considered more traditional in the wedding production, you really must. To say that the wedding industry is abuzz with opinions (of course I have one!) would be an understatement…especially in the photography part of the business. I found myself asking why the heck does every one have their knickers in a knot and have some fun and honest rebuttals.
Molly Guy (Stone Fox Bride) for Vogue: The 10 Wedding “Rules” to Break
Historically, they were there to let the world know you were the property of your big strong husband, who was out in the scary mean world skinning bears and slaving away at his important job, while you stayed home, scrubbing the woolen underwear of your six children in the washbasin. Why not get matching tattoos instead? Actually, why get matching anything? Not to get too Stevie Nicks here, but the psychic bond you share is what’s important—not the jewelry.
La La Love: Could not agree more! I have been happily married for 10 years…my husband wears a wedding band…I don’t.
Girls, Girls, Girls
After the proposal, sit your bitches down and be all: “Listen, I’m not going to torture you with the popularity contest of a bridal party and the engagement party and the shower and having to pedestal-ize me for the next year in your crappy $400 crinoline monstrosity. Just pick some gorge dress and strut down the aisle at my wedding.” And did someone say “maid of honor”? Let’s not even go there.
La La Love: We grew out of the whole concept of having only one best friend years ago! Prefer not to choose? Then by all means don’t! Oh and another thing…the amount of girls doesn’t have to match the number of guys and your side can include men and women
When’s the last time you cooked a casserole or pressed a panino at home? If you’re a domestic goddess, the registry idea is sweet and all, but why not just go old-school and request cash post-ceremony? Send one of the flower girls around, holding a big basket with an adorbs sign around her neck that says “Accepting contributions.” Now you can do with it what you want: kitchen items, paying off student loans, a charity of your choice.
La La Love: Although I agree that the registry is soon to be a thing of the past, putting a basket around a child’s neck asking for contributions is bordering on the line of gauche.
Hiring a Professional Photographer
It made sense back in the olden days, pre–Facebook albums and Instagram hashtags, when the whole world didn’t have phones with cameras on them. Having the actual leather-bound album on your coffee table seemed like the only evidence that the whole thing actually took place. If social media is not your thing, why not scatter some disposable cameras around the party and let your drunken guests go to town? You’ll end up with hilarious and candid pictures without the pressure of “likes.”
La La Love – Well this is the “rule” that is raising many an eyebrow in the professional wedding photography industry. For the sake of this argument let’s assume that this is not about budget but about personal choice. Photography is the most important investment that is to be made for your wedding celebration…period. Scattering disposable cameras on tables is a good idea…in addition to a pro photog! Disposable cameras are an avenue to “exposing” some of the more alcohol soaked behaviors of friends and family and I assure you that they won’t be frame worthy (unless you love that kind of art…which is okay). That being said, I do agree with Molly’s comments on wedding albums. Albums are becoming passé and are extremely overpriced. I also find that some photographers are holding their clients hostage with the whole album thing. Do I think you should get raw images? Absolutely not. I do however find it inappropriate and borderline pompous to not provide digital watermark free image files for purchase without having to buy an album.
The Big Reveal
I totally get the appeal of the big rom-com moment when the groom sees the bride in her dress for the first time, but honestly, you have been spending every single day together since you first met at Lit Lounge in 2001 . . . is this really necessary? I’m all for a five-minute powwow before walking down the aisle so you can press your heart to his and remember why you’re there in the first place.
La La Love: I LOVE first looks and as a matter of a fact, Mike and I had one on our wedding day before there even was such a thing. We saw each other every day before we married but I’ll tell you seeing him in his tux on our wedding day was incredible and I was happy that we did it before the ceremony. It is a matter of choice!
Something Old, Something New
Ew. Doesn’t that stress you out? What’s the point? Why add another thing to your checklist? Let it go and move on. And while we’re at it, can we talk about the garter? A slutty, elasticized strip of fake lace cutting off circulation to your upper thigh? All so that the man of the hour can drunkenly remove it, then pass it on to Great-Uncle Ted in the hopes he gets laid? Let’s opt out of this one.
La La Love: I am with Vogue 150% on this one!
Walking Down the Aisle With Daddy
Safely ensconced in the nook of his arm, like a wee lamb? Is that really necessary? Why not walk down the aisle by yourself or with your about-to-be partner—or better yet, don’t even walk down the aisle at all. When your guests file in, be there to greet them, then, as they take their seats, proceed to the altar hand in hand with your betrothed, ready to get the show on the road.
La La Love: Again the choice is yours…however…I had two brides this summer that would have given anything to have their father walk them down the aisle on their wedding day.
Am I the only person who finds this really bizarre? Twirling around to a waltz as if you’re in a Viennese ballroom circa 1932? Not to mention, dance lessons are both costly and time-consuming. And then to have a million pairs of eyes on you? No thanks.
La La Love: This is definitely personal choice and to be honest I very much dislike the addition of dry ice to the spectacle. Buuuut…I swoon at a waltz
Feeding Each Other Cake
That awkward rigmarole where the two of you hobble up to the dessert bar and playfully feed each other a slice amid a barrage of blinking flashbulbs? Why? Being hand-fed cake in front of an audience is disgusting. ’Nuff said.
La La Love: Truth be told I LOVE a gorgeous wedding cake…what does gross me out is when the a couple smashes it in the other’s face. Luckily, I have never witnessed this first hand with our couples.
The Elaborate Honeymoon
Try out the staycation alternative instead. Book a suite at a nearby hotel and hole up for a couple days with some board games and champagne, and call it a long weekend. And while you’re there, ask the hotel manager if the pool could stay open late for a private swim.
La La Love: So here’s the thing…if you can afford a honeymoon to Bora Bora then get thy behind to the gorgeousness. Honeymoon weekends, 4 days in Muskoka or a weekend Jazz Festival? Yes please!
Read Molly Guy’s (of Stone Fox Bride) : Ten Wedding Rules to Break on Vogue’s blog post at the following link: http://www.vogue.com/13384689/wedding-rules-to-break
References/author credit: Author: Molly Guy : For Vogue Living: Wedding blog: Jan 6, 2016
Image credit: Photographed by Arthur Elgort, Vogue, June 2009